


Building Bridges

by imaginationhasnolimit



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-04 22:51:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1796143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginationhasnolimit/pseuds/imaginationhasnolimit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John always had two sides to him. One side he showed the world and was strong. The other side was the one he hide and was smart. Watch from a young age he hide one side until one day he met a man that let him show it like nothing else. Can he find the strength to mend the bridge that connects the two sides in order to save the one man that saw both sides from the beginning?<br/>Mentions of some SG-1 people. And a small appearance from Jack and Daniel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Simple Elementary

John knew he was different even when he was younger. Sure he liked to play around, go down slides and chase after the brightly colored ball. He was like many of the boys and even some girls in this aspect. But the other part of him also liked numbers, maps and words.

John like many young boys read under the covers when he was supposed to be asleep. But his books where different in the aspect that they involved math equations, how to build airplanes, and dictionaries. As he watched the other kids fall into groups either the smart kids or the normal kids.

At first he thought it was cool to be smart. But it soon became obvious that it was not always the place to be, especially when he was most of the time one of the smartest people in class if not the smartest. 

When everyone started realizing he was smarter than the average kid that is when everything started changing. The first thing that started to change was that either the teacher always called on him or he was never called on.

In first grade he saw how the teacher always chose him when starting a new subject but when they spent more than a day or so on things, like telling time, then the teacher stopped calling on him.

The next thing to change was his classes. In second grade instead of the regular second grade reading class he was put into the advance reading class. It was boring to have to read some of his books because most times he would be finished with the book within a week of getting them.   
The last thing to change was how everyone acted around him. His teachers loved him and praised him for how much he knew. His peers started to make fun of him for being smart and being on the smaller side. The younger kids thought he was so smart and wondered how he knew the things he did.

It was in fourth grade that he made the decision to stop being smart and to be the guy every one relied on. So part of it had to do with his father moving the whole family across the country so that way he had to go to another school completely. Of course he couldn’t just make his school records disappear but he could make it seem that he really wasn’t something different. Within weeks he had convinced most teachers that he was average intelligence.

John would never tell a soul that he liked to read or that when they started the times tables that he already knew most of the answers. He never told his friends that he liked watching documentaries or playing with science kits. These were things he kept hidden from everyone including his family. Actually the only one who knew that he liked being normal and loved to learn was one of the ladies that helped out around the house.


	2. Keeper of Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma is my oc

Her name was Ms. Emma Gelandas. She was from Italy and she did most of the work done in the house. She had light olive skin with green eyes and dark wavy hair. She was only 23 when she meets the Sheppard family and moved in with them as their housekeeper and caregiver to the two boys that resided in the house. She did not have any family of her own but Mrs. Sheppard and the young boy named John soon became like family.

When he first met the woman when he was six years old he had no idea what to think. She was young and pretty like his mom but she was fun to be around and told amazing stories from around the world. She immediately recognized that John was like normal boys and loved to play around. She also noticed that he was in fact smart and loved to learn new things. So she took it upon herself to help that part of John flourish. She did not understand why the young boy hide how much he knew but she let him keep his secret. She loved the boy like her own. So when the Man of the house moved them all across the country she packed her few belongings and came too.

Over the years the two became close while John played outside she would work on the garden. It was in the garden that John learned to sing and how to speak languages. Even though Emma, which she told John to call her when his father wasn’t around, was from Italy. She had grown w up learning many different languages from different people. The first language John learned to speak was Italian, which coming from the small boy made her laugh the first time around. But over the years She taught him a few other languages that would be helpful later in life like Spanish and French. When they moved to New York they both ended up learning German and Arabic though it was her learning from other people and passing the information to John.   
She watched him as he spent his allowance on books and other things that his father would have never have thought of giving the boy. It was the time they spent in the kitchen that they both learned things about the world. She would learn what john was learning in school or whatever book he had picked up from the library. She could not believe some of the things the boy learned and how fast he learned them in. But on the days that he was quite she would teach him how to cook even though she knew that his father would never approve. But she saw the smile on his mother’s face when the boy was cooking and it told her their secret was kept safe and was even wanted. Even years later after the mothers death the two could be found in the kitchen cooking and talking, though it did slow down when John started football after he sixteenth birthday.

Then there was the more interesting side to John’s intelligence. It started off with John in sixth grade having to do a report on whales for science class. John had wanted to go to the aquarium and it was under that reason that Emma took him there. The two actually had fun there and it soon turned to something else entirely. So on Saturdays, which was the day Johns Parents did many of their events and Johns brother went out with friends, the two of them would go out. Sometimes it was to a museum other times a fair or even a lecture. It was during one such time that the two had gone to the woods were John then presided to launch a rocket that he had built. Emma still remembered the shock when it actually did launch above the tree line and the joy of John that it had worked.

Of course like all things these things started to come to an end when John was fifteen. With his mother greatly sick and his father demanding that he start behaving like the heir to the family name things changed that year. Emma saw the once intelligent John fall into himself with sadness at the loss of his mother and the anger from having to follow his father’s very strict rules She knew that she was the only one that got to see the inelegance form, even though she thought that his mother might have known but turned a blind eye to it in order for John to keep his secret.  
But the once active child turned to a very calm teen. She let the change occur mainly because she knew why he was changing so much. It was during this time she started to hold even more of his secrets and at times convinced him that many of them were not wrong or bad to have. She knew that John what’d nothing to do with his father’s business and in order to stay away from that he was going to go in to the Air Force. When he had told her she had never been more proud of the man the boy was becoming because the choice he had made was something that he wanted and not what his father had wanted him to do. She was the only witness to that argument and saw the only time John Sheppard’s father ever touched him. She handed John ice for his check for that and proceeded to tell John to go for it and to leave as soon as he could.

It was the same year that she learned that he found that he did not care for a person’s gender so much as for what lay in their head, their heart and maybe on some degree how they looked. When he told her that she smiled softly because it told her that the boy who was so special was even more so because he was one of the few that listened to what a person’s heart said instead of what society had deemed appropriate though she still had to convince him that love was blind and when the right person came along that the gender would not matter and his heart would lead him to the person that would love him for everything he was and who would let his intelligence burn bright. The look he gave told her he did not think anyone would find what they wanted in him. She shook her head but never told him that what someone wanted and what someone needed was sometimes miles apart and at other time the exact same thing.

She never told John but she had thought of who he might end up with but she knew that life brought people into their lives for different reasons. Though the more she thought about it the more she realized a few things. The first is that whoever captured Johns heart would have to be just as smart or even more so then John himself, she laughed at that because it made her think of what kind of trouble those two would get into. The second thing the person had to be was stubborn to the nth degree. She knew John was stubborn but they would have to be just as stubborn as him. She could almost imagine their fights both so convinced they were right when in fact nether of them were. That was one thing John would need is someone who won’t back down, not from him and not from what they believed in. They would have to be caring and kind. These two things she more hoped then thought John really needed. But as she thought about it there were people that hide that part of themselves even more the John hide his. She knew that some people hide that they actually cared in the fear they would get hurt, mainly due to them being hurt as a young child. The last thing she knew they had to be was strong and has courage. This was due to she knew john needed someone that would stand up for them and to help John when he needed it.

In the end she was the only family he had at graduation where he graduated in the top fifteen percent but not the top ten percent. She knew that was mainly because he did not want others to know how smart he really was. But she knew just like John did that his intelligence was up in the MENSA level. She had him take one of their tests just to see where he had landed and he passed with a decent score even for his age which she knew was at least 5 years younger than when they started to test for it.


	3. Flying High

The first person John told he was going into the Air Force was Emma. Out of everyone she was the one person who meant the most to him. When she smiled and hugged him he realized he could do this. The only thing she had told him was he had better be doing this for himself and no one else and that he was to stay safe and write as often as he could.

The next with his brother who actually took the news really well he surprised John on actually congratulating him on doing what he actually wanted to do. John’s brother would never tell him he was envious of his brother for leaving or that he wishes he had the courage to leave. He never told anyone that he loved to paint and the sketchbooks under his bed did not exist. No he was happy that John was leaving because it meant that he would inherit everything not that John cared or anything.

John’s father was an entirely different story. When John’s father hit him across the face, only Emma knew about it. She was the one to give him ice and told him to go for it, to leave his father and this place behind. 

It was after graduation that John left. He knew he was never going to return. This house was filled with ghost and nightmares and monsters. The only person who had held a light for him was going to stay but she was the voice the urged him to leave and never to come back. He hoped on day that he would see Emma again and maybe when he did he would have some happy news to share with her and she would have found happiness too. But for now he had to leave.

Days slip to weeks and weeks blur into months. It wasn’t long that John realized that several years had slipped by him. He was a great pilot even though he still had a hard time obeying orders. There was only a few letters sent between him and Emma. But there was only so much he could tell the woman that had pretty much raised him and later became his friend.

He loved flying just as much as he loved numbers. In a different reality he might have decided to stick with his brain and the numbers, but he did not live in such a world and so he lived with this.   
He was happy for the first time in a long time he was happy. But like with everything good in his life it came crashing down in the worst way possible.

Three men lost and his orders were to return to base and leave them. While most said he had a choice the truth was that he did not have a choice what so ever. It was one of the few times in his life that his mind, both sides of it, and his heart was in agreement. 

He saved them but a black mark was issued on his papers. But it was not the end for him like he originally thought it was. In fact it was the beginning.


	4. Conversation in the Air

The first time he heard about the Stargate Program he thought it was nuts. Even more so then aliens and spaceships, but then as he looked around the base he realized that maybe it wasn’t. Things that he had never imaged existing were being worked on and studied by scientist, engineers, and other people that he had no idea what they truly did. 

Of course the chair thing freaked him out like never before, gush all he did was sit down. Then the most astonishing thing happened when a voice told him to think about where they were in the solar system. It was moments later that he found himself looking at a smiling man with blue eyes and waving arms. 

O’Neill said he had a choice. Truthfully he realized he already knew the choice he would decide. After all on one hand he could leave the Air Force quietly and try to find something to do for the rest of his life. Oh he could join Stargate Program and see things that no one had ever seen or done or have even thought of. For the first time in almost fifteen years he decided to fallow his heart, the one that loved to learn and test the limits. 

Half of an hour into the flight he looked over at O’Neill and nodded. The older man just smiled and laughed.

“Trust me John you will never be bored, you will be on an adventure of a life time. I was in your place once; I have yet regretted taking that jump. Then again I have been doing this for over seven years.” O’Neill said with a smile before it slipped off his face. “I won’t lie to you. It is going to be dangerous and you will at times question it. You will watch people you have never met die, you will kill people that might have had a chance in another time line and you will loss people you care about. You will find a purpose, save lives and keep innocent minds hidden. But in the end it will be worth it.” 

John nodded. “So not much different than right now” he said jokingly.  
“Oh think about the difference from a commercial airline and an F1-50. That is about the difference between the two and times it about a hundred or so. If you need a number you can ask one of the science people that work there.”

John smiled. “I like a challenge.”

“Oh you think you want a challenge. Take a very stubborn scientist mix in things they like questioning and playing with and times it by… forty two. That’s what you get. That of course is not counting in coffee, sugar, arguments, tiredness and anything that distracts him. Trust me on this John you do not want to mess with a natural stubborn scientist who is sleep deprive running on just sugar and coffee who feels the pressure of an alien invasion who challenges all your thoughts. That is not fun.” O’Neill said watching the scenery go by. Which wasn’t anything at all just white, white and guess what more white.

John thought about it for a moment. “It sounds like you have experience.” He said he had to wonder if he was talking about the man John had seen him talking to with the glasses.  
“Oh I do. I probably have the most stubborn, coffee addicted, moral composed scientist out there. But I will give you a tip. Find out what they like and how to mess with them. Yeah they take their anger out on you but they work better. Plus once you have gained their trust, and friendship they won’t ever turn on you even when everyone else does.”

John smiled at that. It sounded like the friendship that O’Neill had was something greater than even he thought he would ever have wanted with a single person. “So this trip will be one way?”  
“Yep”

“And most of the people going are from other countries.”

“Yep.”

“So any rules that apply?”

“Stargate has no real rules except protect Earth and if possible our allies.”

“So there is no other rules.”

O’Neill gave him a look. “Military respects chain of command and so does most of the Scientist too. But other than that nothing. John if you have a question just ask it.”

“um Fraternization?” John thought that might be the best.

“Nope. We prefer equal rank or equivalent rank. No outrageous forms of affection but other than that. Nope.”

“DADT?” this was what John really worried about.

“John everyone who even wants to know about the Program has to sign a tolerance and nondiscriminatory form. No one in the place can be put down for their rank, gender, race, interspecies, sexual orientation, intelligence or anything else you can think of. Any decimation is threaded out within a few days of entering.” O’Neill said watching John.

John sighed at least he could be himself with the people he was going to be with for the perceivable future. “Even military?” he gave a sheepish grin knowing that he was reviling himself to a higher ranking officer.

O’Neil had to wonder why some of these questions and where this was going but with the last question and the grin he got his answer. “Trust me no one is going to blink if a military woman kissed her scientist girlfriend. With so many countries we can’t afford to make some people resent us for it. Plus we are fighting a war out there and when it comes down to it no one will care about who you’re sleeping with.” 

John smiled yep he was going to like this job a lot more then he thought he was going to.  
O’Neill leaned back in his chair. “I will warn you right now. From my own experience and others you most likely will find yourself with a coffee addicted, very stubborn and excitable scientist. My only warning is beware the sarcasm.”

“Really I thought that was only in plants.” john said deadpanning

O’Neill laughed. “John you will fit right in. If anything you will at least be able to keep up with McKay. Because currently the only ones that can seem to match him are Carter, Zelanka, and Daniel. I’m Sorry to say Carter isn’t going to leave earth for a while except through the Stargate, and Zelanka might be going with you guys but he mutters most of his comments in whatever language he speaks.”

John nodded then thought about. “What about Daniel? Besides who is that?” he had an idea but didn’t want to assume. After all he had met one Samantha Carter when O’Neill had brought him to base. Rodney McKay was someone one he had met for a moment but that moment interged him. And Zelanka was someone he met briefly in the hall.

“Daniel Jackson. He is not going. Not now or ever. I don’t care what he says to you. If you so much as get a hint of him wanting to come you are to turn down the request without a thought. Got it.”

“Okay.” John said slightly shocked by the good natured man turn cold. “Uh, who is he?” he had to wonder.

“Daniel is slightly shorter than me. You met him, he was the geek with the glasses and told you all about the Stargate. Which probably at the time you tuned him out.”

“Oh” he said realizing that the man he saw talking to O’Neill earlier was Jackson. “So he knows a lot about the Stargate and the program?” 

O’Neill gave him a look that told him that not only he was crazy but what he said was going to be important. “A lot of people know about the program and things involving the gate. Daniel is probably the one person in the whole program that knows all of what everyone else knows plus then some. Without Daniel there would be no program at all. He figured out how to make the thing work after like two weeks and we had it for over two years. He has gone through it more than anyone else in the entire program. He is the one to find Atlantis. Yes he will never say this because he thinks that everyone helped but truth is a lot of what we know is because of him.”  
John was in shock how one man could be responsible for so much. But thinking about it maybe he was missing something in the context. After all he had just met these peoples. 

“Then why isn’t he going?”

O’Neill glared at him. “Because he just isn’t. No. Not now. Not ever if I have anything to say about it.”

“Um… Okay.” John said slightly confused then a thought hit his head almost causing him to loss grip with the helicopter. He looked at O’Neill and realized something, so he just nodded. There was more going on than a best friend afraid he would never see his friend again.

“Look I almost lost Daniel a few times. He like a cat he keeps on living. But I’m not going to chance him not coming back.” O’Neill said witch caused John to smirk because he read behind those words.

John spent seventeen more minutes flying before landing the chopper.

O’Neill walked in front of him and spoke. “I suggest you get your affairs in order you leave in twelve days.”

John smiled following the older man and knew that he was about to start the next part of his life. For a moment he wondered what he was going to say to Emma but then realized that she probably would not ask questions and just assume that he was on a secret assignment and that it was classified, like she did with everything else.


	5. Just the beginning

John walked into the hallway. His bags already packed and ready to go with everyone else’s things. As he walked down the hall he saw the personal that were coming with him say goodbye to their friends that were here at the base. Some people hugged while others cried. John understood that they were all scared that they may never see the other again. He knew that this might be a one way trip. But with the unknown and some known things he knew that some of the people would not be seeing the other again for whatever reason, any given day they could die either here on earth or on another planet. The death and life of each person was unknown to him. He hoped that for whatever reason he would find happiness.

He stepped passed doors. In some of them he saw people he would be living with talking, checking on things, and in a few cases kissing. 

“Sheppard” a voice rang out. John looked around to see O’Neill coming up followed by a shaggy haired man.

It took the two men a moment to get through the hall way and to follow him into a empty room a little ahead of him. John shrugged and followed them in to it.

O’Neill smiled at him. “Daniel, John Sheppard. John, Daniel Jackson.” O’Neill said gesturing to each of them.

Daniel glared at Jack O’Neill. “Ignore Jack. He likes to think he is funny when he really isn’t.” Daniel said. “Whatever he said about me is either a lie or an exaggeration.” 

John chuckled at that. So far his first impression of Jackson was a good one. “I don’t know things look pretty arcuate.” John said not hiding the fact that he looked the young man up and down, which caused a blush to fill the scientist cheeks and a small glare to come from Jack.  
Daniel blushed then turned to Jack. “What did you tell him Jack?”

“Nothing that wasn’t true Daniel.” Jack said rolling his eyes. “You do know all about the program, you open up the gate and you are staying here.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. He turned to John and smiled. “See exaggeration. Truthfully I wish I was going with you guys. There is so much I could learn.”

“You aren’t going until we know you can come back.” Jack said

“Not this again Jack.”

“Yep you are not going. Not now and not for a long time.” Jack said glaring at the younger man.  
John watched as the words came flowing off their lips but he noticed there was no real anger and the way Daniel lips twitched John realized that he was playing Jack. John covered up his laugh and Daniel smirked at him and raised his eyebrow.

It was standing there in front of two best friends that were obviously more than that he had to wonder if he would find this in the future. John had always hoped to find someone who could let him be himself and demanded it. Judging by how different this Jack was to the military man he had met two weeks ago the men in front of him had done just that.

“O’Neill we need you in the gate room, Weir wants to go over a few things.” A man’s voice reached over the intercom.

O’Neill muttered to himself before saying “Okay not to long Space Monkey.” Then he walked out of the room leaving the two men alone.

John raised an eyebrow to Daniel. Daniel shook his head. “Don’t ask, long story.” Daniel then looked to John. And he smiled. “Whatever you’re looking for you will probably find it. If you’re anything like Jack then you will need on stubborn person to help you in the way you want it. Give it time and a little bit of faith and it will find you. Just don’t be surprised with who it is or how it happens. Trust me on this, once you walk through that gate once you are going to want to do it again even if it could mean fear, hurt and loss. Just don’t let that stop you. You will find what you need in time. You’re a lot like Jack. He didn’t know what he needed, but he thought they knew what he wanted. The truth was he found it in a way that he should have never found it but it was the only way that the point gets across. Jack was blind and unable to accept the truth and in the end because of that and because of my own unpreparedness we almost lost something before it began. But my only words are this when you find the person that has helped you build the bridges between the different parts of you, never ever let go of them. Chase after them. And once you got a hold don’t let go because most likely the person you fall for will never let you back in if you do. And if you do let go before you know what they mean and you get another chance you better make the most of it.”

John was shook that the man said so much to me. But a question slipped out “How do you know?”  
Daniels eyes turned sad for a moment. “At one point we found ourselves trying to fight our feelings thinking it would ruin a friendship. The fighting and avoidance almost did that for us.”  
“Then how did you guys…?” he gestured not sure what they called themselves.

Daniel gave a sigh. “It took my death and nearly a year away from one another for us to admit it to ourselves. It would take another seven months in which I lost my memory for us to realize that there was something there. It still hasn’t been that long, even if people think it has been. After I had my memories and he had found his courage we talked and figured it all out. Truthfully have of how we got here is still unknown but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Daniel said starting to walk out of the room.

“Just don’t lose hope John and things will be alright.” With those words John was left alone without anyone to bother him.

Taking a breath he had to hope that Jackson was right that he did have a chance and what he needed and wanted was out there some were. 

Little did John know that in the next week his whole life had changed and that he had found the person that had already started making bridges within him.


	6. The Start

It had been close to three years since they had walked through the gate. Three years since John had met the man that was Rodney McKay. It was during those three years that John finally felt like he was home. Not only on Atlantis but with his friends. 

Tayla was his kick ass sister, the woman that was beautiful, smart and caring. Ronan was like an older brother and he was always willing to help. Elizabeth fell into the category of mother figure and friend. Loran and Ford were like his younger brothers. Even Zelanka and Carson became like his cousins mainly due with that he didn’t spend as much time with them as he did with the others but he got to know them mainly because of Rodney. They had become more then friends they were his family.

But Rodney, well Rodney was a different thing entirely. At first they were coworkers, then after a few off world missions they became team mates. It was driving cars around the halls that he realized that somewhere along the lines they had become friends. The last change was when they had been attacked by some natives and Rodney shoved him out of the way that he realized that Rodney had become a brother in arms. But none of the words John used for Rodney was quite what he was looking for. Unfortunately for John when he finally realized what Rodney meant to him it might be too late for anything to happen.

Because throughout all the time of knowing Rodney John didn’t realize that he was letting others see how smart he was. He never realized he was starting to care about the people around him and he never realized that these parts of him were starting to overlap. That he was finally putting the bridge up between the hard strong military man, and the caring smart scientific man.  
It was because of a stubborn scientist that his defenses started to break and the building started. All without john knowing it had stated


	7. Just Another Day

It was just another normal day in Atlantis that John ended up having to save the city like he had a good dozen or so times by now. Except there was going to be one small difference today.

John had been walking around trying to look like he was doing something when he really wasn’t. He hummed to himself today was a good day. He had ran with Ronan, Eat breakfast with Elizabeth and practice fighting styles with Tayla. Now all he need was to go bug Rodney and it would turn out to be a pretty good day.

As John walked down the main hall that led to the science hub he couldn’t help but smile. He actually liked the room which was big and at any given time there was at least half a dozen or more people working on one project or another. The scientist were constantly working on something whether it was getting more hot water being able to be filtered quicker or translating part of the data base the place was one of the few places in all of Atlantis that actually, as far as John knew, never ever slept. 

Just like some many times before he heard the man he was in search for long before he could see him. By the time John actually got to the room he already knew that at least three people had messed up an equation of some kind.

John stood in the doorway watching the scene play out all he had to do was look at the equation to know that the person had added four instead of subtracting it like they should have in the first place.

“Now can one of you tell me what you did wrong?” It was silent. “Can any of you tell me what is wrong?”

“They added a four instead of taking it away.” John said causing everyone to look at him. Some people were in shock others mad and shocked. When he looked at Rodney he was met with slight annoyance but John swore he saw pride in those deep blue eyes.

Rodney smirked at the answer that John gave the scientist. In the three years since they had arrive he had come to anticipate Johns arrival in the afternoon if there was no meetings or an off world trip planned. Admittedly he was slightly annoyed John had told his ‘students’ what was wrong but on the other hand he was proud that the man had stopped hiding how smart he was. Rodney never told a soul that he had seen from the start that John was smart. Just like he would deny to his death that he had been slowly pushing the man to show that he had a brain under all that crazy hair of his. He would also deny that he had already stated falling for the man that was now his best friend from when he first made the Milky Way galaxy back in Antarctica.

Rodney turned back to his ‘students’ “John is correct. At the beginning you should have subtracted the four on both sides but instead you decided to add the four which means that this cannot work because by adding the four means that….” Truthfully John stopped paying attention after that point. He had recently found he liked to watch Rodney rant about whatever it was that was going through the scientist head. Thinking back he wondered when that had started.

He knew it wasn’t the first year because he spent the first year trying to ignore Rodney’s lectures and rants about what he did and what the city could do. He had come to realize that though Rodney was arrogant he was right far more times than he was wrong. Actually he wasn’t joking the man had only been wrong once a year at most.

The second year he had spent arguing with the man. Truthfully he liked the arguments with Rodney even if no one else did. For some reason everyone thought the two arguing over how hot or cold the water should be able to go was ridicules, but John found the time spent on them not only relaxing but often enlightening because he found out a lot about the other during such times because they often used what they had done, tried or read to back up their reasons.  
It had been this last year with everything going on that they had found some kind of even ground. Oh he knew he had been entranced by the blue eyes since he saw them but now years later he had found that maybe just maybe he could let the man in. He had found that they shared a lot in common and the things that were completely opposite well it depended on their mood on what happed. They would either let the other be or they would fight about it which usually ended up with them both breathing heavily and upset. Actually John was hoping to move on in the weird bantering and flirting, every ones else words not his or Rodney’s, thing they did with one another. He had to wonder if he was allowed to kiss Rodney, or the other way around, if they could end the fights slightly different.

He was brought out of his mussing when Rodney set the others to fix their mistake or to go back to whatever they were doing before Rodney had called them all there. John caught Rodney heading to the spot he had claimed for the day and he thought if he could kiss the man maybe he wouldn’t be so tense. Because that was one thing he had learned that PDA really didn’t exist here nor did the fact that he saw couples gay , strait and even polygamists touching, comforting and kissing each other all the time. It was a part of life. Jack and Daniel had both been right in so many ways and for once he had listen to someone who had more knowledge then him and he had let his heart and mind go where it had wanted to.

John slowly started making his why over when everything changed. Rodney attitude changed from causal, for Rodney at least, to up tight. John knew that there was real trouble when the man started to speak rapidly in French. By then a few others where trying to help out at the same time from their own stations. Whatever the problem was, it was big. Like 14 on a scale of one to ten. Zelanka came up behind Rodney and rapid words were spoken. 

Rodney stood up and grabbing his data pad and a few other things from his bag as he made his way to the door.

“Rodney” the other scientist said calling attention to him and pulling the other man up short. “You need to take someone with you. You won’t be able to both things at the same time. Take them with you please Rodney.” The man said Rodney looked at him then nodded. Rodney reached out and grabbed Johns arm but before anyone could protest they were half way down the hall. As Rodney pulled john with him the taller man couldn’t believe Rodney not only chose him but was being drag to what he had no idea about.

“Rodney?” John said it was a moment before the blue eyes man looked over at him and then realized what he was doing. Rodney quickly dropped Johns hand blushing.  
“Sorry” he muttered counting the wall down the hall to the transporter.

“It’s not like I minded” John said smirking which caused the other to blush harder which in turn caused john smile.

“Oh?” Rodney tried to sound questioning but was in a way glad that John didn’t seem to mind. 

“yeah.” John said stepping out of the transporter letting his fingers touch Rodney’s hand that was holding the data pad. “I just wanted to know what’s going on. I mean Zelanka usually is calmer then to day.”

“oh. Oh. A couple of pipes burst down here and with a lot of the main energy running down here it could cause problems and Atlantis couldn’t start the main protocols that have been set up for this thing. So we have to find the pipes and turn off the water. Find the main power cable turns that off then find out why the protocol didn’t turn on. Turn that on; turn the water on and then the electricity. All while trying not to drown or get elasticated.”

“Oh.” Then something hit john “Why did you chose me then?” john had to ask.

Rodney stopped and turned to the man. He cocked his head before his eyes widen. “you really don’t know.”

John just looked confused.

“Oh… OH… well your one of the smartest people here. You might not know everything but you think differently than the others which could mean the difference between saving the city and letting it down. Also I know you would be more helpful then the others. Your smart and strong it’s with these two that you’re the man I know and it is with that you a so different from other people around here.”

John stood and stared at Rodney who just looked at him. it was in that moment he finally saw through the scientist eyes. He saw that he was strong man who never left a man behind but also saw the smart who wanted to save the people. John had frozen because he couldn’t believe that the man in front of him saw both sides and accepted them both without hesitation. It was also now that he realized that he had been showing everyone both sides slowly since the man had told him to open his mind and to show him the universe. How had he not seen this he had to wonder because this probably wasn’t the time to have this kind of thought proses.

John was brought to the present when he felt a touch on his cheek. Rodney was standing just a little to close with his hand still on his cheek.

“I always knew you were smart and strong. I’m just happy that you are finally letting everyone else to catch the glimpses.” Rodney said softly smiling.

A beep from the Data pad mad them both jump and turned to looking at the machine. Rodney quickly dropped his hand and John tried and failed not to feel disappointed from the loss. Rodney’s words came flooding to him in a mixture between French and what he thought might be Russian. John did not need to know the meaning of the words to guess that he had been swearing. John laugh over the years he had heard Rodney speak both and while he still knew very little, thank you Doctor Jackson for sending him those books in the last Detalis trip, he had made the connection over the last few years because whenever he slipped into those languages it always meant something very, very bad was going to or had happened to them.

“We will finish this later” Rodney said before taking down the hall to where John now sees water spilling across the floor.


	8. Thoughts to our selves

Seven hours. Seven hours and twenty seven minutes. That’s how long it took for the two men to find the turn off switches. Fix the pipes and the wiring and get Atlantis back where it should be. 

It had taken both Rodney and John that the damage wasn’t as severe as it could have been. Only 3 pipes had cracks in them. Most of the wiring had a coating on them like they had never seen before and Atlantis had actually been able to transfer the water and power through lesser used out puts. 

~~~

But Rodney was happy because it had been john that had figured out how to reset and actually restart the part of Atlantis’s system that would make it so that the pressure wasn’t used so much in this area of the city. At least until Rodney could get some engineers and other scientist to check out the area to a bigger extent. 

Rodney would never tell anyone but when he first saw John and heard him talk he Realized that the man would play a big part in what would happen to them all out in the unknown. He had also thought that there was something that the man was hiding. When he asked the man about the universe he never expected the vastness and the detail he got from the man. What most of the others probably didn’t realize was that while the chair could tell if the person had the gene or not it also told them how much their mind worked and the information that was stored in it. It was in one question and a few followed up question that Rodney figured out that not only did John have one of the strongest genes to exists but also was very smart and retained information like a sponge. 

Rodney also knew that John often felt out of place with his scientist and he soon realized that John could keep up with the best of them and still pretend that he had no idea what they are talking about. Even if John sometimes didn’t get everything that they talked about he still got the general gest of what everyone was talking about.

It was with these thoughts that Rodney walked down the hall to Johns quarters. It was time the talked and if luck was on his side maybe something else will come forth.

Because that had surprised Rodney that John, form where he stood at least, also had feelings for him that went beyond that of friendship.

Rodney hoped that whatever happened that these feelings could be acted upon because frankly he was tired of hiding what he felt for one of his best friends. But as much as he hoped he was also preparing for the worst because he had never been very good at having these kinds of feelings.

~~~

John was scared, scared he had reviled too much of himself to Rodney. 

The first thing he knew the man knew was his strength and the fact he had the military mindset of leave no man behind. This didn’t scare his so much because most people saw it went they first saw him walking down the street. It was the one thing that he let the world see.

The second thing that he knew the scientist knew was that he was smart. This wasn’t the best thing because so many people never saw this side of him; they all liked to think that his brain was average. But him being so smart could be a lot worse considering what else that man knew. But it also had to deal with the fact that now more and more people where seeing it. There was Emma, who know knew all about the program and was now a nursing assistant on the mountain back on earth. There was Jack and Daniel that knew and saw past it. And now the Atlantis people saw it too. No what truly scared him was the faith that Rodney had in his intelligence was like nothing anyone had ever given him. It scared him that Rodney trusted him so much with only using his mind.

The last and most frightening thing was that Rodney knew now. He knew about his feelings for him. That freaked him out to no end. All john could do was hope that this did not ruin their friendship. Yes he also hoped and thought Rodney might think the same thing but that also scared him. He had to wonder if they did start something what would happen.


	9. Small Talks, Big Gestures

Rodney knocked on the door which started John on the other side. 

Not many people came by Johns quarters unannounced. The only one that had ever done so was Rodney. He was nervous but also excited he had a few hopes and even more dreams if this is what it was.

Rodney took a deep breath as the door open to revile John in Jeans and what looked like an old AC/DC t-shirt. It was hard to tell with the lighting and how worn it looked.

John shifted as Rodney did a once over on him. He would never admit it that the icy eyes made him nervous. As the look continued John felt a blush rising on his cheeks

Suddenly Rodney moved informant of him. Rodney hand gently ran across John’s cheek. 

“Tell me that I have made this up in my mind.” Rodney said softly.

John shook his head. “You haven’t.”

“Tell me that this is not how it is supposed to go.” Rodney almost pleaded.

“It’s been working up to this.”

“Then tell me that you don’t feel this.”

“I won’t lie to you.” John said not moving his eyes from his best friend.

Rodney took a shaking breath. “Then….”

John covered Rodney’s mouth with his own for a moment.

“Rodney?”

“Yes, John?” Rodney said slightly out of breath

“You talk way too much.” John said moving one hand to the man’s waist while the other one found it running through the man’s hair. “You have always talked to much.”

“Then I guess you will have to find a way to shut me up then.” Rodney said with a smirk. “I mean….” but once again he stopped talking with a kiss from the man in front of him.

John leaned back only for Rodney to follow it took a few minutes for them to detach themselves from one another.  
“I think I won’t mind being interrupted any more if this is how you do it.” Rodney said.  
John smirked.

“I mean I can talk about just about anything for just about as long as I want.” Rodney

“Rodney.” John drawled

“Yep.”

“Shut up”

“Make me.” Rodney said smirking knowing just what John would do.

John presided to do just that. 

~~~

It was 5 months since the expedition had found out about John and Rodney. It was also during that time that they figured out that john had a better knowledge of the Atlantis system. John had moved positions while he was still second in command and head of the military aspect of the mission. John also now worked with the scientist at least once a week on what the Atlantis system held. Actually to Elizabeth surprise along with several others except Rodney’s that they were getting more information than ever before. The team was finding back doors and connections to other parts of the city that they had never even touched even through the first time around.

~~

Of course over the few months it was not uncommon for the members of the expedition to see the two men together more than they had in the past. No one blinked at the touches or a kisses they shared. Truthfully they were the best months John had in a long time.

~~

Out of every one John needed this past and present to meet face to face.

He had to let Emma met Rodney. After all Emma was the one to let him be himself and to explore the areas that lay hidden inside of him. While Rodney was the one to connect the dots and to finish the puzzle. So when Rodney finally meets Emma John knew he had made the right choice in letting his heart chose for him. not only does Emma love Rodney for being just who john need but they get along better than he had hoped for. 

Truthfully John had been terrified to introduce the two because lets face it the two people where as night and day as possible and still be considered in the same universe. John had hoped that at the very lease Emma would let Rodney be there because John loved him. He had hoped that Rodney would let go long enough in order for him to leave the tension filled room and not bring the woman to tears with his words.

No John truly feared they would hate the other and he would have to choose between the two most important people of his life. 

But this would not be the case or ever the case because the sight that was in front of him was outstanding.  
Both parties were in the kitchen cooking something that from the smells was some kind of vegetables, stake and some chocolate cake.

But it did not stop there they were laughing at something one of them had said. He had no idea that in the 15 minutes it took for him to run to the store, get some vanilla ice cream and come back the two would be best friends.   
At the time John smiled at them because this was what he wanted and needed. that the most important people in his life actually liked each other and wanted to be together in the same room.

Who was he to know that this would be a bad. This would mean trouble, that by introducing the two he was in for a world of nothing he ever though it could be. 

No he had thought the worse thing was them hating each other. He now thought that the worst thing that could happen was that actually got along really, really well.

They would talk for long periods of time neither shutting up. Sometimes it was nice the hear them talk about science or something going on in the world or even what they thought about the star gate program. 

It was good up until they started talking about him. okay so he was a crazy child and now was a crazy adult but did they really have to talk about all the trouble he got into. Of course they loved doing that. 

John knew Rodney loved hearing about what John did as a child. The time with the rocket, the time he was chased up at tree by a dog in a rain storm and when he finally go back home he looked like a drowned cat, and oh my gosh Emma actually had pictures to go along with it. John groaned as Rodney petted his head and said good kitty.

John had hissed and growled at him. Rodney had of course smirked and kissed him on the nose. And then told Emma that he was glad he was a cat person and not a dog person because otherwise this relationship wouldn’t nearly be as fun. The two had laughed as John pouted beside Rodney.

John he also had never thought Emma would be entertained by stories of Atlantis. There was sympathy like the time he thought he might love Tayla only for he to calmly explain how it would not work. She smiled as Rodney told a story about the team outings. Pride was when he would save some one but after all that Rodney was not done.

No Rodney had to tell the woman that was practically his mother that John had tryied to swim in one of the lakes only to be bit by what was the equivalent to a letch and how he got covered in them because he didn’t get the marine biologist first. Then of course Rodney brought out pictures of the time that he had been paintball so badly, don’t ask what they do in their spare time because it made no sense to him, that he looked like a kid trying to tie dye his shirt and missed. That was not funny no matter how had they laugh. He had to walk around the base for two weeks with neon green, blue and pink hair. Hey it was either that or cut it and there was no way he was going to cut his hair.

Yeah at one time he had thought it was all bad but actually John could hold back a smile they were happy and yeah sometimes they laughed at his expense. But looking at the happiness they had he couldn’t change it for the world.


	10. To Build the Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> still dont own wised i did. put this here because i hopped by the time i had finished this i would have owned it. oh well you win some you lose some.

Out of everything that had happened in his life John never regretted meeting Meredith, which John was now one of only three people that got to call Rodney, Rodney McKay. Actually John was glad he had because he knew that if he had not meet the man he would still be hiding parts of himself away. Yeah Emma, Jack, and Daniel were right when the right person came along he would truly be himself.

Now the two sat on the northern pier on Atlantis just spending time together enjoying the even temperature and cool breeze not even a year since they started what they had. They had come so far since they had meet and John Still couldn’t believe how much Rodney had changed him.

Rodney was laughing which made John smile because Rodney truthfully didn’t laugh very much. Truthfully John didn’t think he heard him laugh or really smile before they got together sure there was brief glimpses but not in the openness that they know had. That made John think maybe he had helped Rodney in a small way that he had been helped. But as lips brushed his he quickly forgot his thoughts. John leaned back thinking he could stay here forever.

John looked into blue eyes and realized that Rodney had built his bridges. He had built the bridges that connected his body, his mind and his heart. It had been Rodney that helped him along the way to finding himself. He didn’t know how he was ever going to say thank you to the other man but apparently, form the smile on the other man’s face, he did not need to but for some reason he thought he might just have to spend the rest of his life thanking the man in front of him. and actually for the first time the thought of spending that long with some did not scared actually it sadden him that he would only get that long with the other man. Unless… no he would have to look into it before he brought up that tidbit to Rodney. 

He knew Rodney would never know how much he had helped him in the last few years or even how much he will continue on helping him. But John knows he would not have been the man he was today if it wasn’t for Rodney: The man who was building the bridges of his soul.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Artwork: Personality Split](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1670525) by [Kazbaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazbaby/pseuds/Kazbaby)




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